Effectively Planning Out The Months With Your Spouse: Harmonizing Calendars for a Happy Home

Effective monthly planning with your partner is more than just organizing your day-to-day activities. It's about syncing your lives in a way that will help strengthen your relationship, and ensure that both of you are on the same page and have the same intentions.

What we found to really work for us was creating a joint calendar. With creating this calendar, we had the ability to manage our time better and set up that framework for mutual support from each other. Alls we had to do was set aside a little time to discuss upcoming events, chores, date nights, and personal time (or whatever is most important to you!).

One thing we discovered and didn’t realize was even a challenge, was the importance of balancing responsibilities. Before, each of us had our own checklists for the weekends and when the end was near, neither of us accomplished anything off of it due to lack of communication. So once we synced calendars, our communication became effective and all (or majority lol) of our tasks were completed and much more manageable.

From time to time, we couldn’t quite see just how much each of us did and when it came down to it, we weren’t respecting or appreciating all that each of us were doing for our family. So with discussing who takes on which responsibilities, it not only clarifies the day-to-day operations but also enhances that mutual respect and appreciation you have for one another.

Understanding Time Management

Effective time management is essential when aiming to balance individual needs with our shared goals. Here's how we’ve been able to make it work:

The Value of Shared Goals

We decided that setting shared goals and planning together were the keys to successful time management.

With our intentions aligned, we were able to eliminate the strain that came from any of our contrasting plans. A couple of examples for our shared goals would be saving for a holiday or kids birthday (I go BIG for birthdays lol) or renovating our home. These are things that we both agreed deserved our efforts and time to save or plan for. When it comes to executing our goals, we get fired up knowing we’re both invested. Which makes tracking our progress and productivity absolutely worth it.

Respecting Individual Time

Understanding that respecting individual time is just as important as chasing shared dreams.

It took us some time to finally admit but now, personal time is non-negotiable; it allows us to pursue our hobbies and unwind independently. Let’s be honest, finding who you are outside of being a partner and parent… well, that time is vital. So, whether that’s putting the golf ball on your lunch break or spending a few minutes once the kids are asleep to read a couple of chapters of your new romance novel. Plan it. Do it.

Setting Shared Objectives

When planning our months, we focus on setting goals that really highlight our vision for the future- whether that’s financially, individually, our health, etc. At the end of the day, it’s about identifying what matters most to both of you and outlining the steps in order to make it happen.

Monthly Goal Setting

At the beginning of each month, we sit down to define clear, measurable objectives we want to obtain this coming month. We believe in being very specific in order to achieve our goals. We use a simple table to break down our monthly targets:

This kind of approach helps us track our progress and stay motivated as we work towards our goals. It’s important to stay flexible and learn to pivot when needed but having a structured schedule is absolute money.

Defining Priorities Together

Determining our priorities is key before we get into the details.

We list out all the possible goals we want to reach and then rank them. This prioritization process looks something like this:

1. Urgent and important: Goals that require immediate attention and have significant impact

2. Important but not urgent: Goals that contribute to our long-term vision but do not need immediate action

3. Urgent but less important: Goals that are time-sensitive but may not have a substantial effect on our overall plan

4. Less urgent and less important: Goals that we'd like to achieve but are low in both impact and urgency

   feel free to highlight these in specific colors if you prefer a physical calendar!

Creating a Joint Calendar

When we decided to get organized and manage our time together more efficiently, we discovered the game-changing strategy of creating a joint calendar. This has been crucial in keeping us both involved with each other's schedules and ensuring that we make the most out of the month. Plus, it’s a great way to remind your partner about any kids doctor appointments or activities by setting a reminder!

Synchronizing Schedules

After talking to some co-workers, we looked into Apple’s shared calendar and started syncing our schedules. Each of us made sure to :

1. Input all recurring events: This includes work schedules, gym sessions, and weekly/monthly date nights.

2. Share one-time events as they come up: Whether it's a work trip or a family gathering, it goes on the calendar.

3. Set reminders for important dates: No more forgetting anniversaries or birthdays!

By spending the minimal time we did on this, we lessened any added stress or annoyances and have found some more quality time with each other- win, win.

Allocating Responsibilities

Dividing Tasks Fairly

First, we created a schedule of chores. We sat down together and listed out all the household and categorized them by:

• Daily: (Ex.Dishes, meal prep, tidying up)

• Weekly: (Ex.Vacuuming, laundry, grocery shopping)

• Monthly: (Ex.Bill payments, yard work)

For instance, he’s better with numbers, so he is our designated captain for most things finance, managing bills and yard work. While I have OCD and enjoy cleaning done a certain way, enjoy cooking and managing our family’s to-do lists… those tasks are primarily my responsibilities.

Balancing Workload

Maintaining that balanced workload is crucial to avoid burnout. Here's a little on how we structured our responsibilities to ensure we both contribute equally:

• Rotating tasks: For less preferred chores, we alternate responsibilities each week to keep things fair. (Like cleaning baby bottles and potty training toilets before our toddler picks it up to show us… (yes she has spilled all over herself and our couch before lol).

• Time allotment: You could use this as a way to dedicate equal amounts of time towards tasks if you experience once doing more than the other OR you can use it as a way to measure how long it will actually take so you can stay on track for the day/week.

We are also mindful of our personal schedules; if I seem pretty sleep deprived from taking care of the baby all night or he has a hectic work week ahead, we try to take on a bit more of the other stuff to maintain the balance in our home. It's all about supporting each other and functioning as a cohesive unit. This is something we’ve talked about since we first started dating again and I am proud to say we’ve done a decent job sticking to it since adding babies to the mix.

Effective Communication Strategies

I know that effective communication is the pillar to planning months with a spouse effectively. It involves consistent efforts and realistic strategies to ensure messages are both conveyed and received from each other.

Monthly Check-Ins

I make it a point to schedule regular check-ins with my partner.

These aren't just about going over the calendar, but also setting aside dedicated time to openly discuss our needs, plans, and feelings about the upcoming weeks or months. Here’s how I do it:

• Daily Briefings: Each morning, I spend 5 minutes with my spouse to touch base on the day's agenda. Sometimes that’s before he leaves for the day or we’ll touch base around 8am every morning.

• Weekly Summaries: Every Friday night we chat and review the past week. Then every Sunday, we look ahead to the next seven days, ensuring our game plan for our goals, to-do’s and activities.

Budgeting Time for Relationship

Date Nights

I firmly believe in the power of date nights.

There had been a time where we didn’t put our relationship first and it showed. So when we say date nights are the bread and butter to your relationship, we mean it.

These could be specific times scheduled weekly or bi-weekly where you and your spouse step away from your daily routines to cater to romance.

For us, we approach it like this:

• Choose a consistent day that works for both us and our family, such as every Friday night.

• Take turns planning the date night, adding a little surprise element to keep things interesting and special.

Quality Time

Quality time isn't just about being together; it's about being fully present. For us, this means:

• Setting aside time daily, even if it's just 20 minutes, for uninterrupted conversation. We usually chose ours right after the girls go to bed. We’ll sit and watch a show before we tackle cleaning up the house, etc.

• Engaging in activities we both enjoy, like watching hockey, gym sessions or playing board games.

Personal Time Management

Self-Care

Self-care is another non-negotiable for us and our personal time management.

Whether it is a daily exercise routine, weekly small groups or a couple of hours to yourself- taking care of your physical and mental health is a must-have!

I make a habit of integrating self-care activities into our schedule to ensure that they are not overlooked. What’s important one person may not be as high of a priority for they other. So adding certain info like this to your shared calendar is ideal.

My go-to self-care practices include yoga, reading, listening to music or doing an elaborate skincare routine. My husband enjoys golfing, listening to podcasts and gardening/light yard work.

Adapting and Reviewing Plans

Adjusting Plans

After a few review sessions, sometimes adjusting our plans is the next step. Here is how we approach those adjustments:

1. Identify the Changes Needed: We list out the aspects of our plan that aren’t quite working for us.

2. Set New Milestones: Based on our conversation, we create new targets that are achievable and realistic.

3. Implementation Strategy: We decide on the best actions to take in order to meet the revised goals.

It's important to remain flexible and recognize that change is a normal part of life that affects our plans.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can couples effectively set and track their goals together?

We choose shared goals and break them into measurable steps.

We use an app to track our progress, making it easier to stay on course and motivated.

What are some good strategies for annual planning as a couple?

We conduct a yearly review where we discuss our past year's successes and failures.

This helps us adjust our strategies and set realistic goals for the year ahead, often using a shared calendar for visibility.

How can we create a 5-year plan that aligns with both of our dreams and aspirations?

We hold regular "dream sessions" where we openly share our aspirations.

Then, we draft a 5-year plan that accommodates both of our visions, ensuring mutual support and commitment.

What are the best ways for couples to discuss and plan for their relationship's future milestones?

We set aside time for planning sessions, where we discuss future milestones, such as home ownership or starting a family.

Establishing a tradition of open dialogue regarding these topics keeps us prepared and connected.